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January 5th, 2010
09:07 pm
tulip_mania
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here we are in athens, georgia. i am alternately getting a chuckle out of all the southerners bemoaning the 'cold' and feeling angst because our trip 10 hours south didn't exactly amount to a heat wave vacation. athens is pretty. matt's here on a three day job interview. i guess he's up against some MIT post docs, but everybody knows that students from the kremlin on the charles (as nixon put it) can't hold a candle to my aussie boy.

it took 20 minutes of being out and about in this city to hear an REM song. everybody is nice, holding doors and nodding in the sunlight. they sell cigarettes in threes here. a man entered the drug store behind me and asked for three cigarettes. i watched as the girl clerk nonchalantly opened a pack of parliaments and pulled a trio of white sticks out. is this normal? this is the south.

i am a baby and cannot imagine living 17 hours from home. i have major flight anxiety. i researched those courses tonight, those plane psychology courses. my dream homeboy, richard branson, offers this incredible one thru virgin airways. but that's only for those lucky lucky fellows across the pond! here the best i could find was this online course & phone conference follow up with "captain chuck". seriously? "captain chuck", you would not even be able to get a handle on the neuroses that i have. i can rip shit up on the power of my neuroses alone. i am charmed at the idea of having a two hour phone conversation with someone named "captain chuck", though. i would tell him ALL about my life and my botched drug overdoses to deal with plane anxiety (this is being pre-preggo, of course... i gotta think of different ways to meditate now.

i still love livejournal but i've been posting a bit more to a preggo tumblr - here is the link

i love you all and i wish that one of you lived in georgia, it would make things less lonely for a travelin' pilgrim like me.

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January 3rd, 2010
07:30 pm
writergrl
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New Year, new schedule?
Okay, so I'm updating on Sunday again, mostly because I have a bad case of...well, the Sundays. You know that dread you used to feel when you were a kid---or maybe it's not just kids, but that's what I remember it from---the night before a new school week began? Like, just kind of letdown and stressed. I think a LOT of people are feeling this way, and not just today, if the behavior I've seen around town the last couple of days is any indication. People just seem grumpy, over the holidays, and ready to move on. I was at a restaurant this weekend and my waitress was clearly in a mood, which for some reason made me be that much more effusive. (Hello, therapy!) Anyway, she plunked our drinks in front of us and I said, "Thanks so much!" and she just grunted and walked away. This was after someone beeped at us for no reason and another salesperson just saw us walk in, then let out this big sigh and went back to whatever she was doing on the computer.

People: I hear you. This is my least favorite time of year. I mean, it was sixteen degrees this morning, and it's not supposed to warm up for an entire week. It's been my experience that you just have to buckle down, endure, and things DO get better. But, um, usually not until late February. But don't think about that! I'm trying not to.

In other news, we had a very nice New Year's here, low-key with good friends and good food. I managed to stay up until midnight for the first time since Sasha was born, and of course totally regretted it the next morning when she was up bright and early at 5:50. Dear God.

Someone told me years ago that whatever you do on the first day of the year, you do all year long, so I've always been really careful about what I do on January 1st. Which means that normally, I make sure I write, work out, and eat well. This year....well, I just wanted to sleep. So 2010 might be a kind of slack year for me. But if the whole first-day-whole-year thing is true, it will also be a year where I slow down, stop worrying so much about getting ahead every second, and just try to BE. And that is not a bad thing.

Also this weekend, we finally watched The Hangover, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I expected it to be more...I don't know, crude or something, full of naked girls. But it was actually very funny and more high brow than I expected. (But not THAT high brow: it is not The Road, by any means.) Also, I have only before ever seen Bradley Cooper playing a bad guy (Wedding Crashers, He's Just Not That Into You) and while he was no paragon of virtue in this one either, he was awfully nice to look at. See, it's that whole scruffy, big hair thing again!


I'm honestly starting to think I might have a problem.

I hope that you all had a very safe and happy New Year's, and that 2010 is exactly the kind of year you need it to be, whether that's full of writing, or workouts, or naps. Or Bradley Cooper. As for me, I might start making updating on Sundays a habit. Just this little entry has kind of gotten right of my blues. Nice!

Have a good week, everyone!

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12:05 am
postsecret

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Sunday Secrets



PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.
















-----Email Message-----
i just had to put my beloved pet to sleep after finding out she was dying of cancer. she was in so much pain the last few days, all i could think was that euthanasia was the most compassionate and loving last gift i could give her.




----Email Message-----
I have a stutter. So you think that when I meet people with my disability, it would give me a sense of community? Wrong. It pisses me the heck off. I just want to yell "SPIT IT OUT"




-----Email Message-----
The same thing crossed my mind as I drove home drunk from a party last week. I smashed into the car in front of me 3 minutes later.




PostSecret Community















-----Email Message-----
Yesterday I had my last therapy session with one of my clients and I realized something. I am sure he will never read this but just in case I want him to know, I love you.

-----Email Message-----
While volunteering with my local crisis center, I once received a suicide call that reminded me so much of my own suicide attempt, I couldn't finish the call. . .

-----Email Message-----
The therapist I saw for my eating disorder and depression inspired me to become a psychologist. I hope that I can help someone as much as you helped me.




-----Email Message-----
I don't tell my therapist my real issues because I don't want to hear myself admit them.







-----Email Message-----
this is free right? i dont have to pay anything? i just want to read the post cards







Order Your Copy Today







PostSecret on Facebook





What's my favorite viral video for 2009?
Follow PostSecret on Twitter.



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December 30th, 2009
08:34 am
writergrl
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Two full days left of 2009, and everywhere I look people are doing recaps of the year. The big events, who died, who made the news, the heartbreaking and heartwarming moments. I'll spare you doing that here, as I honestly don't remember much of the year, as I spend it either running around like a crazy person OR trying desperately to get rested up from running around like said crazy person. But I did have a really good year, that I know. My book did really well, my daughter is healthy and happy (aside from the occasional tantrum) I have an awesome new writing space (pics to come in new year, once it's totally done!) and basketball season is really only just beginning. Plus, I converted yet another person to Friday Night Lights, my friend Courtney, and now she is hooked. Hooray!

There are a few things I've decided I really want to try to leave in 2009, though. Like guilt. I have a lot of it, for various reasons and various things, and it's really exhausting, like carrying around a backpack full of heavy rocks. I am ready to put it down and move on, lighter. So I think I will write down all the things I've felt guilty about this year, put the paper in the fire on New Years Eve, and send it up the chimney to the sky. Hopefully my guilt will not settle back down over me in ash form. Blow away, blow away!

There are some pressing questions, though, that have not yet been answered in these last twelve months. Things I just, you know, wonder about, and hope to have answers for in the coming year, or at least sometime. Such as:

1. Why are all towels ENORMOUS these days? Twice I have gone to buy new towels, because we really need them, and they are all literally twice as big as my old ones. Are we bigger, or something? Do we need towels the size of tablecloths, really? Really?

2. In the Max and Ruby books, and TV show---which my daughter is now addicted to---where are their parents? There's no mention of them, only Grandma. Someone is paying the mortgage on that nice house and paying for Bunny Scouts. It's such a cute show, but I worry they've been abandoned, or something.

3. Does anyone other than me still have a landline phone? And by having one, am I officially old? None of my friends under 30 have one anymore. It's like regular bath towels, just out of fashion, or something.

4. Do celebrity moms really find motherhood "perfectly overwhelming" and "just amazing" all the time, or do they have moments when they, too, want to tear their hair out? Also, does Jennifer Lopez REALLY have no help at all with her twins? And if so, how did she train for that triathalon? With a double stroller?

5. How many lip glosses and lipsticks should an average person have? Is there an actual number? I have a feeling that it is not fourteen, which is where I am at currently. I'm thinking it is in single digits, whatever it is. Uh-oh.

6. Will this blog ever become more high minded, covering politics and history and providing insightful commentary on world events?

7. Will my daughter ever learn to say "please," without having to be prompted to do so? Because I am beginning to sound like a serious broken record. Also, like my mother. Thanks for the patience, Mom. This one's for you: Please!

8. Will I ever finish another novel?

I don't have the answers for these questions. Maybe I will next year. We'll see, I guess. Until then, I hope you all have a VERY safe and happy New Year's Eve, guilt-free, small-toweled, talking on your landline. Or, not. You know, whatever works for you.

Have a great day, everyone!

web tracking



Okay, who am I kidding? We all know the answer to number 6 is a big fat NO. Just seeing if you were paying attention.....

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December 27th, 2009
05:43 pm
writergrl
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Ticking down to 2010....
It's Sunday night, and I'm updating because honestly, I need a few minutes to focus on something other than dealing with my cranky toddler. The holidays make everyone a little tense, I know, but it seems---just based on my own personal experience---to be especially overwhelming for two year olds. Suffice to say that I THINK she broke her record for whining today, clocking in at over a half hour straight. I had to take myself outside and count to ten, and I wish I could say it was the first time over this long holiday weekend. Honestly, I know I have said this before, but I don't know how you full time stay at home moms and dads do this. I will be so happy to see my sitter tomorrow afternoon that I may just burst into tears at the sight of her. Hopefully not, as it would probably scare her. But you get the idea.

(I hesitated to even post the above paragraph, as I feel like it makes me look like a bad mom. It seems so effortless for a lot of people, or at least not this hard. But I look at parenting the way I do writing: I'm honest about how challenging it is for me. If it's not for you, I admire you greatly. And I wish I was you. But this is me, and I'm counting to ten, whether over whining or plotting frustrations. And that's okay. I hope.)

Tantrums and meltdowns aside, it really WAS a great Christmas. We had good food and good times with all our families (except those who couldn't be around my sick husband and child: we hope to catch up with them when we are germ free, if and when that ever happens). My husband bought me a kick-ass pair of cowboy boots, so I can totally channel Tammi Taylor and Lyla Garrity, and I got some gift cards to hopefully put towards a new desktop for my office sometime soon. My daughter LOVED Christmas and we now have even more plastic stuff than before. The craziest thing, though, is that for all I (and everyone else) spent on her---tent, blocks, tons of books, play camera---her favorite toy of all was this five dollar plastic tentacle ball I got at Target. She's obsessed with it. Second best? A ninety-nine cent Slinky. Gotta love that.

Now, there's four days until 2010 begins, so I'm thinking about my resolutions. First up: healthier living. Which means no popcorn or chips before bed, and trying to cut back on the desserts and maybe the red wine. (Note: I said MAYBE.) Also, I want to do more for my dogs, who I feel have been neglected for the past two years. Just more walks, more cuddle time, more pats on the head, that kind of thing. I also want to try and spend more time with my girlfriends, because every time I do I feel SO much better about everything. It's like a tonic, I swear, and I just need to make the effort to try to set things up more often, even if does mean sitters or NASA-level scheduling. What else? I want to stop sighing loudly so much (my husband tells me I do this constantly) and maybe lose that last seven pounds of my pregnancy weight I'm still carrying around. Oh, and I'd really like to see at least five movies, in the theater, with popcorn, this year. Which would be five more than I have in the last twelve months.

That's the start of my list, anyway. I've learned not to make resolutions that are too hard to do....which is probably why that six pounds won't make the final list. I guess my resolution, as always, is really just to try and be a better person all around. That's just vague enough to work. Not specific enough? Okay, I'll try to floss more and curse less. Done!

Have a great evening, everyone!

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December 26th, 2009
09:51 pm
postsecret

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Sunday Secrets




PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.


















PostSecret Community



-----Email Message-----

I was at a Borders in Ohio this afternoon when I decided to read the newest PostSecret book. I discovered that a secret written on note paper had been tucked into the book. The secret said:

I just read this with the woman I love. I hope she doesn't get away.

I left the secret in the book, on the shelf on the off chance that she comes back and happens to find it. I hope she does.
























-----Email Message----
No More Resolutions. Just change.








New Book Available Now From Bookstores & Online.





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December 23rd, 2009
08:22 am
writergrl
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Merry, Merry, Merry.
It's the day before Christmas Eve, and I have to say that I feel like I am finally getting into the spirit. Sure, there's still a level of stress and craziness as I try to juggle everything to do and everyone we have to catch up with. Also, both my daughter and husband have come down with this wicked cold, so I am doing all I can to rally my immune system so I don't go down as well. I really thought we'd get a pass on being sick for Christmas this year, after the debacle that was last year, when we all came down with a throw-up bug on Christmas Eve. THAT was fun. If I have to pick, I'd much rather have a sniffle and a cough than that. Although not being sick at all would be, like, the best gift ever. I'm putting out extra cookies and milk for Santa in the hopes he'll deliver.

Meanwhile, last night I had two of my best girlfriends over for pigs in a blanket (tofu pups for Dana) spinach dip, pizza, wine and Love Actually. It was just what I needed to mark what I decided was the official beginning of my vacation. When you are self employed, and in the midst of a tricky novel, it's REALLY hard to just stop working, even when you know you should. And I should, because my house is so incredibly messy, and none of my gifts are wrapped, and I'm totally exhausted and surrounded by sick folk. Plus, holidays are supposed to be relaxing, right? Please say yes. Anyway, so after having two great work days in my new office---which is so great, I can't even tell you---I'm stepping back. Clocking out until at least next week, and hopefully the new year. It will be good for me, and hopefully for the book as well.

I know it will be good for my house and the clutter that is piled up everywhere. I'm about to grab a garbage bag, put my hair in a ponytail, and get down to it. But before I do, I just want to wish all of you, wherever you are and whatever you happen to believe in, the happiest and healthiest of holidays. It's been a crazy year, busy and fun and stressful (at times) but I would not change a thing. I'm so grateful for all your support, for the fact that you don't judge me too harshly for watching so much TV (hello, Jersey Shore!) and that you read this silly blog so faithfully. You are my co-workers, in a lot of ways, the folks around my water cooler, who make those sort of lonely work days so much more fun. Thank you for that. It means more than you know.

Okay, off to clean. Maybe I'll chug down an Emergen-C first, though.....

Have a great a safe holiday, everyone!

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